Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch

Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch

Clean Cotton / 9oz
$20.45
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Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
  • Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch
Cosmic Mission Patch Candle, Soy 9oz | Space, Astronaut, Mission Patch

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$20.45
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Welcome to the Ass Destroyed Rectal Space Club Candle—the only candle specifically engineered for… catastrophic bathroom events.

You know the situation.
You went in confident. Brave. Ready.
But what happened in there?

🚨 Classified.
🚨 Unrecoverable.
🚨 Astronomical damage.

You didn’t just take a dump…
you launched a full-scale cosmic event.

That toilet? Ground zero.
That smell? A black hole of its own.
That moment when you sit back and rethink your life choices?
Yeah… you’ve officially earned your badge.

🔥 That’s when you light the candle.

Instantly, the room shifts from:
💀 “Something died in here…”
to
✨ “Ah yes… a controlled atmospheric reset.”

This candle is your emergency protocol:

  • Mask the aftermath
  • Restore the environment
  • Reclaim your dignity

Because in the Candle Realm, even the most destructive missions have a recovery plan.

And every true member of the club knows:

👉 If you venture too deep… consequences await.
👉 But if you survive… light the candle and move on.

Ass Destroyed. Mission Complete. Atmosphere Restored. 🕯️🚀


Cosmic mission-patch candle with clean, science-forward graphics that read like an insider emblem for space-curious readers and film fans. The label shows a stylized deep-space scene—rocket, orbital debris, and a mission-ring badge—using high-contrast cosmos blues and orange accents to evoke hard-sci-fi missions without referencing any specific title. Made from natural soy wax with a reusable glass jar, it offers a quietly atmospheric burn while signaling membership in book and science-minded communities. Product features - 100% natural soy wax blend, 100% cotton wick, glass jar - Burning time: 50-60 hours - Reusable glass vessel (cleanable after use) - Compliant with ASTM safety standards - Choose from 12 aromatic scents (same wax color) Care instructions - Keep burning candle within sight. Keep away from children and pets. Never burn the candle near flammable items.

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