I knocked on a customer’s door, expecting a routine service call. The moment she opened it, a Chihuahua came flying out full speed—straight for my ankle. That little dog latched onto my boot like it was its life’s mission, actually drawing blood.

I looked at her and said, “Ma’am… your dog is hanging off my boot.”

She smiled and calmly replied, “Yeah… he does that.”

At that point I’m thinking, if he does that, why would you open the door?

Eventually, I made it inside to fix the cable behind the TV. Everything seemed fine… until I heard a low growl. I turned—and there it was. A full-grown Doberman Pinscher, teeth out, staring me down. We were at a complete standoff. I couldn’t move. He had me dead to rights.

All I could manage to say was,
“Ma-ma-ma-ma’am… can you please call your dog?”

Thankfully, she did.

After finishing the job, I headed for the door, ready to leave. I handed her a pen so she could sign the paperwork. A moment later, she came back holding a greasy chicken wing, breastfeeding her baby, and tried to hand me the pen back.

At that point, I was done.

I just looked at her and said:
“Keep the pen.”

This hand-poured soy candle brings a touch of warm nostalgia and cheeky humor to a living room, workshop, or home office. The candle burns clean for 70–80 hours from a reusable glass vessel, releasing one of three calming scents—Vanilla Bean, Comfort Spice, or Sea Breeze—while a vibrant, comic-style label wraps the jar with lighthearted storytelling. Packaged in a minimalist gray gift box, it feels ready to present whether you’re brightening a cozy night in or adding personality to a weekend repair session. The cotton wick and non-toxic, USA-grown soy wax mean you inhale fewer toxins and get a long, even burn; when the wax is gone, the glass jar cleans up beautifully to become a planter, pencil cup, or candle holder for future use.

Product features
- 100% natural, non-toxic soy wax (USA-farmed)
- Three scent options: Vanilla Bean, Comfort Spice, Sea Breeze
- Reusable glass vessel with vibrant, permanent label
- 70–80 hour average burn time with 100% cotton eco wick
- Packaged in a gray paper gift box; assembled in the USA

Care instructions
- Keep the burning candle within sight, and keep away from children and pets. Never burn the candle near flammable items. For best results, burn the candle for 3 - 4 hours in each lighting and trim the wick to 1/4" before lighting. Discontinue use with 1/2" of wax remaining.